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The Unreal OC

  1. Announcement June 20102010/06/05
    We're still here and coming back with new episodes!
  2. What a Bargain2009/10/04
    Ema starts off with a joke and then it is all uphill from there. Tom tells of a recent example of how he is unable to pass up a bargain, no matter how unreasonable the purchase.
  3. Bongos and Bioswales2009/09/19
    In part deux of our three-parter, we bring the kids up and keep the tape running while mayhem ensues. Ema helps me remember our honeymoon, and we all get an unnecessary education on what a bioswale is.
  4. What A Trip2009/09/13
    Ema and I play catch up after nearly a year, and explore a particularly stressful travel day. Part one of three.
  5. Announcement - We're Back2009/09/07
    It's been almost a year, but we are coming back. LOTS to catch up on. Recording today, posting within the next two weeks. Thanks for staying subscribed.
  6. A Visitor in the Night2008/10/26
    Boy, you’d think we were doing a quarterly podcast – ehe? This will teach you NOT to unsubscribe! We’re back with more tales from beyond the Orange curtain, and we start right off with a potentially stinky story. Thanks for joining us. . .again!
  7. I Cant Believe We Are Back!2008/07/20
    Well folks Ema and Tom are back after a five month hiatus. You’ll hear about our medical journey, but don’t worry – it’s all good news. You’ll also hear some of your favorite bits like Nick’s List, Things I Hate, Things I Love, and we’ve even resurrected the Police Blotter!
  8. Harry Dogwater2008/02/24
    Tom tells his story about syphoning dog blanket water from the broken washing machine, Tom’s implant woes, Ema gives an account of her chemotherapy experience thus far, and Nick and Juliana give a quick cameo and tell us about their weeks’ adverntures.
  9. Trashy Books2008/01/13
    Ema confesses to reading trashy novels late at night, one of which she gave to Tom as a Christmas gift; Juliana presents her rather macabre list of things she likes; and we come close to apologizing for last episode’s knock-down, drag-out – we are fine foks – honest!
  10. Swingers2008/01/06
    Don’t even bother asking us if we are swingers, cause we aint. Also in this episode – new year resolutions, end of the year crime log, and Ema tears Tom a new one. . .again.
  11. Merry Christmas2007/12/18
    It’s The Unreal OC’s 50th episode, and our Christmas episode! So order up this tasty combo, and don’t forget to super-size it! This will be one comic feast you won’t regret.
  12. We Are Back2007/11/12
    Hey – Like it or not, we’re back! Ema and I fill you in on the past couple of CRAZY months.
  13. Some News2007/09/09
    Ema and I share our family vacation story then tell y’all about some rather unpleasant news. Don’t start celebrating yet – we’re not canceling the show! This news is a little more personal.
  14. Anniversary Show2007/08/18
    Get ready to rumble! Ema and Tom get up in each other’s grill in this episode so put the kids in the other room and prepare for a knock-down, drag out laugh fest! Methinks you’re gonna love this first anniversary episode!
  15. Treatment Effects2007/07/23
    Perhaps Tom should have taken the Alli label more seriously, rolling obituaries, cupcakes, more things to keep Tom Busy, potty talk, and Ema writes a great story that Tom critiques instead of praises.
  16. Thats Good Water!2007/06/24
    We recap our trip to Santa Barbara, Tom is in love with Jane – the voice on his GPS, Nick gives us his top five favorite things about summer, listener feedback, Alli is A Lie, and how NOT to hang cabinets in your garage. All this and MUCH more packed into fifty-five minutes of jaw-clenching delight.
  17. Frozaffles2007/05/20
    To save breakfast prep time, I've been trying to convince my kids that eating frozen waffles is better than if I were to toast them; Sadie is earning points; book recommendations, old movie reviews, fun facts, Ema got poked way too many times the other day; a birthday reminder gone wrong, and music podcasts that ROCK!
  18. Puddles Everywhere2007/04/24
    The Dachshund is trying Tom’s patience, Ema admits to escalator hesitation, we announce the winner of our Things I Hate/Things I Love Contest, Our neighbor talks Tom down from the ledge, and we discuss the relative merits of being ‘good’ parents.
  19. Win2007/03/28
    Our good friend Win visits us from the UK as we stumble down memory lane, talk about why British people use the wrong words for things, and laugh until we make ourselves ill.
  20. No Sympathy2007/03/14
    The lovely ladies take over the show for this episode as Tom’s throat continues to heal. Ema and her sister Linda take this opportunity to talk about Tom behind his back. Special guest star: Robin, Linda’s daughter.
  21. Twitterpated2007/02/28
    Tom gets caught Twittering in the loft; Ema tells us her most embarrassing moment; The Unreal OC hits the OC Swap Meet; and Tom tells about how he made a fool out of himself in front of Christopher Reeve.
  22. Pigmy in a Blanket2007/02/13
    The homeless man shower story, Tom’s new crazy-ass diet plan, Animated snot globs, Chicken poo and bootie songs, plus – Tom’s dad chimes in with his Things I Hate, Things I Love.
  23. Bang Bang Muffler2007/01/30
    Nobody bamboozles Tom! Disneyland in January, the cereal diet, Ema wants to be a groupie for Chris Isaak. Do you pump for your wife? Tom does.
  24. The Whole Tooth2007/01/15
    Tom’s wisdom tooth extraction, a new car, Ema rants about obnoxious up-selling, and a pre-dawn dreamlike visit to a flea market
  25. Nappy You Hear!2007/01/02
    Ema got Tom got a pillow for his car that really helps him sleep while driving, medical news – slouching is now good for your back, Tom’s guilty pleasure of the week is more embarrassing than he counted on, Ema tells her dental hygienist the truth about her flossing habits.
  26. Cherry Mishmash!2006/12/18
    It’s The Unreal OC Christmas Special! We’re at the end of our ropes and we’d like you to join us!
  27. Santa2006/12/10
    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the trailer, we could all hardly breathe on account of the vapor!
  28. The Sister2006/12/03
    It's two against one with Ema's sister Linda joining us as a special guest; Armenian food for Thanksgiving; Salvation Army toys for the kids, and throat surgery for Tom.
  29. Tossin Shrimp2006/11/22
    Tom discovers his favorite store has a whole other floor filled with shoes, the history of scatting, why apple pie may be the only antidote to the texture of raw scallops, Ema thinks there’s no excuse for bad roots, Ummmm McUnderbelly. . ., and finally we discuss the very personal and sometimes scary subject of personal hygiene.
  30. UnHoly Matrimony2006/11/12
    Ema and I celebrate 11 years of blitzfull harmony, Tom masquerades as a courtesy clerk, and is there every really a correct answer for “how do I look?”
  31. Trick or Ramen2006/11/05
    Yet another use for Top Ramen, Christmas music year-round, and how DARE they interrupt my nap!
  32. This Show is XXX2006/10/25
    Panhandling, manhandling, a ‘live’ report from the casino floor, and why Ema hates concerts
  33. Chicagogoogoo2006/10/14
    Hobo signs, Indian casinos, organ lessons, and listener feedback
  34. Don't Zamboni My Baloney!2006/10/02
    How Tom got busted THIS week; brace yourself for a new crime wave sweeping The OC - ladder swiping, and the joys of pre-dawn shopping.
  35. Knick Knack Tommy's Whacked!2006/09/23
    Party remorse, too many knick knacks, and a new segment: Things I love/Things I hate.
  36. String Cheese Theory2006/09/10
    Deep fried grilled cheese sandwiches, tantrums in restaurants, and a newly discovered type of cheese from the bottom of our fridge.
  37. Moron With a Horn On2006/09/02
    Ema and I publicly confess our most embarrassing moments.
  38. The Unreal OC - Administrivia2006/08/29
    New Feed notification. Archiving older episodes to accommodate format change.
  39. Why Not Uranus?2006/08/26
    The return of the wife! Elizabeth is back and has some issues to raise with Tom Cruise. We recap our family vacation, and discuss the inexcusable decision by the feeble-minded drunks in the International Astronomical Union to delete Pluto.
The Unreal OC
Welcome to Orange County, California. It's not much different here from where you live. People still drive to work everyday, pay bills, eat leftovers, watch too much T.V. Like many couples, Elizabeth and I try to strike a balance between fulfilling our own needs and keeping our three kids healthy and happy. It's a struggle, and sometimes we find ourselves on the threshold of insanity, but no matter how hard we pound on the door - it remains closed. It seems that we are destined to face this suburban reality, and have come to the conclusion that here in The Unreal OC, this podcast might be our only escape.

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