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  1. Midwife in the Tire Swing (mobi/Kindle) eBook free download2016/04/04
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  2. The Quilter Who Went to Hell the (mobi/Kindle) eBook free download2010/11/07
    Being a somewhat accurate account of the unexpected adventures, sudden departures and peculiar reincarnations of Elizabeth Profitt Pease.
  3. Platterland the (ePub) eBook free download2010/11/07
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  4. Sylvie's Suitcase2015/06/23
    “The power is in you...” From between guardian gates of veneered mahogany, dead center in the television’s tiny screen, a lacquered, pomaded TV preacher leered out from behind a fence of scan lines. Fr. Coughlin gave the TV a kick. The picture rolled over, the screen went dark, then popped back on minus the lines but with the sound full throttle. “JESUS IS WAITING,” boomed the preacher.
  5. Sylvester and Beany2010/11/07
    The year the monarch butterflies didn’t return to Maine, I went home to Brooklyn. “Something in the milkweed,” they said. With a cold winter and no milkweed to browse to keep up their strength on the long flight from Mexico, the butterflies weakened and froze, dying in their millions.
  6. Saint Velcro™ and the Swan2010/11/07
    It had been, by the saint’s count, a thousand years or more since the last tour passed through—Attila and his Hunnic Horde, their hardy ponies pulling an endless cavalcade of Airstream trailers that stretched to the sunrise. "I’m a martyr," said the saint. "Martyrs don’t shoot back."
  7. The Ninepatch Variation2010/04/10
    Libby Pease remembers her girlhood as a litany of lost callers. Now a visitor: William Powell has misplaced Myrna Loy.
  8. The Red Sneaker Zones2010/04/10
    Libby Pease accepts having her own personal shaman as an article of faith, which faith she could not tell. The dead Indian smells rank, but not unpleasantly so: fresh earth clinging to over-wintering vegetables, plug-cut tobacco and molasses. He wears a loincloth and is well muscled, albeit stringy.
  9. Chimaera Constant2010/04/10
    "Sweet Jesus!" Elizabeth Profitt Pease has—for just a moment, a split second—the queer idea that there is an eyeball in her teacup. "Uh... hello, eye." The eye does not speak. She takes a swallow of Dr. Pomeroy's straight from the bottle and shakes her head to clear it. She squints; the eye in her teacup squints back—the eye is hazel and clear. It is her mother's eye.
  10. Blue (as in an Early Frost)2010/11/07
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  11. Grasshopper Dreams2010/11/07
    In death as in life Pansy Graham was preceded by the clinging aura Dicey Pease identified as the yellow bar soap provided by the Daughters of Milo. As the neighborhood women―wives, mothers―undid the corpse’s nightshirt, the smell issued forth: an aroma of heathery dawns on a highland moor with industrial bass notes of citronella and carbolic acid.
  12. The Missingest Man in America2010/04/10
    "I am Joseph Force Crater; I am a judge of the New York State Supreme Court. I am not the Adversary. Your chastity is safe with me; I am a Democrat."
  13. The Queen's Head Part 12010/11/07
    The heart-breaking beauty—the original of the flesh and blood face with the moondrop eyes—resided, a carved and painted sandstone effigy, in the Bureau of Antiquities, the face of an ancient queen. The Sender of Dreams had sent him either a true dream or a false dream. It was for him to find out which.
  14. The Queen's Head Part 22010/11/07
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  15. The Queen's Head Part 32010/11/07
    There had been a summons to the carpeted office at the end of the file-drome. Miss Queazing flashed him a melting smile, exposing a dazzling six-inch length of polished incisor. One of her fangs had been drilled and inlaid with an intaglio Tree-of-Life design. It sparkled with diamond chips.
  16. The Queen's Head Part 42010/11/07
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  17. The Queen's Head Part 52010/11/07
    What are we doing here in this place dedicated to capturing the gasses and fluids of expired citizens, determining what and who caused the cessation of a productive, taxpaying unit? Does a corpse really care if it was happy before it came here? Alas, the song is gone and we are celebrating the phonograph.
  18. Two of Swords2010/11/06
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  19. Mark Twain in Milan Part 12010/10/22
    Suspended in mid-ceiling, yellow work lights cast fitful shadows every hundred feet; a half foot of water in a concrete channelway reflected oily rainbow ripples. There was a distant vibration of machinery. If I had gone to Hell at least they kept up with the electric bill.
  20. Mark Twain in Milan Part 22010/10/22
    A woman popped out of thin air beside me. She was swinging a serious looking cavalry saber. She gave me the once-over and attacked. I ducked. Her pale gray eyes grew huge. "Oh, terribly sorry, old chap. I thought you were someone else," she said. "Are you still alive?" I said yes. "I say, good fun, what?" she remarked. A bullet zinged past and we dived under the desk.
  21. Mark Twain in Milan Part 32010/10/22
    "We have been called here by a power greater than ourselves?" asked Sam Clemens. "The New York City Transit Authority," I said. Another invisible express rumbled by on the Lexington Avenue line. The noise mounted to a crescendo.
  22. The Death of James A. Garfield2010/07/11
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  23. The Prophet Harry2010/05/13
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  24. The Beewolf Part 12010/04/10
    A tall insect with feathery antennae and a nervous tic paused before the mirror of a machine plastered with multicolored blurbs announcing it as a dispenser of a popular brand of chewing gum. The walking nightmare spoke to his human companion. "Harry, you wait with the bags, there's a good fellow." Evenly modulated tones carried the force of a command.
  25. The Beewolf Part 22010/04/10
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  26. The Beewolf Part 32010/04/10
    "Ahh..." From the bottom of the bag Titania came up with a very old-fashioned and lethal-looking large-caliber pistol. "Hit the floor, I'm going to make some noise." She thumbed the hammer back and closed her eyes. "This is only slick if it works, otherwise it's monumentally stupid." The commission cop let fly a thundering volley from her huge, and by now unauthorized, gun.
  27. The Diplodocus Effect2010/04/10
    Teaberry Balcom held the marble between a thumb and forefinger. He squeezed and the marble dripped like an overripe grape. There was a roll of distant thunder and an aurora borealis blazed in the cloudless midday sky. "Oops, too tight," he said.
  28. The Tirewoman Gabriel2010/04/10
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  29. Cherokee Purple Part 12010/04/10
    Thelma Wagstaff blew herself away as she sat on her high red upholstered stool supervising the cash box at the White Street Billiards and Snooker. Thelma hit the floor like she had fallen out of an airplane, no parachute, and her pistol went bouncing toward Ed Seitz and me. Ed and I were absorbed in the cushion shot he was negotiating. We did not look up; there was a fiver riding on Ed's shot.
  30. Cherokee Purple Part 22010/04/10
    If you read pulp fiction from the wire racks at the bus depot as avidly as I do—full color covers, tumbled towers, heroes like Doc Smith and Conan the Barbarian—you would realize clairvoyance, if not the bona fide article as defined by Modern Science, had better be taken into consideration. As things will do in a dream, a shovel appeared in my hand. I started digging a foxhole.
  31. The Moose in the Noosphere2010/04/10
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  32. The Last Teddy Bear2010/04/10
    "Where is the bear when the bear is not where the bear should be?" asked Frankie Jelinek's husband with sweet reasonableness. "Ever think about that?"

    "No," said Frankie, "I don't. Wherever teddy bears go. Maybe a picnic." Steve gave his wife a sleepy kiss and rolled over. Supernatural phenomena were not in the baby care books. Yet...
  33. Magnetic Betty2010/04/10
    Magnetic Betty explained the problem. "And so you see, things fly through the air and stick to me when I walk by. None of my friends' mothers will let them play with me."

    "A tricky business," replied Dolby Jenks, World's Champion Detective. "Not my field, I'm afraid, Betty. I would suggest that you find different friends with different mothers."
  34. The Francher Part 12010/04/10
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  35. The Francher Part 22010/04/10
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  36. Song of the Rice Barge Coolie Part 12010/04/10
    "My sister, is she dead? Go and give her a poke, would you?" The great white presence that was the Lady Mother of the Long Walkers indicated the row of captive queens on their dais beneath her, deferentially lower.
  37. Song of the Rice Barge Coolie Part 22010/04/10
    On the countertop the lone ant groomed its antennae. "You are going to kill your husband. He is wearing out, then?" The ant was dusted white from its struggle through the arsenic buffet Ginny had just laid out.
  38. Daphne Longhandle's Last Flight2010/04/10
    "See that, Franklin?" said Eleanor Roosevelt. "That's O'Brien." Franklin observed a line of stars on the eastern horizon. There were four. "Oops, sorry." Eleanor nodded at her new constellation, O'Brien, and the fourth star blinked out.
  39. The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade Part 12010/04/10
    "I am midtown. Manhattan?" Linda Winkelman speaks her question out loud in the middle of the rush hour push; no one notices. She can not recall who she is or why she is here. "I remember lemonade," says Linda. Buildings disappeared, people disappeared. Now it is her turn. Linda Winkelman was born the year they invented frozen lemonade.
  40. The Year They Invented Frozen Lemonade Part 22010/04/10
    Linda's mother is secretly tickled at the patronymic of Linda's intended. "Winkelman? His name is Winkelman? That's the same name as ours. It sounds like incest. The neighbors will think your father was screwing some babe in Yonkers."
  41. Scope Virgin2010/04/10
    The woman at the far end of the kaleidoscope had not been there last week, of this Simon was sure. She was naked or near enough, thinly dressed in a diaphanous veil. "Holy shit!" Simon Alexander breathed on the lens and gave it a wipe with his sleeve. "I see that I have your attention..." said the woman, "...finally."
  42. McMuckle Makes a Minyan2010/04/10
    The ineffable, unnamable God of Hosts stood with a burly, bearded personage who held a bar towel draped over one arm, a symbol of his trade. The golem toyed nervously with an ear. "My people should quake at My unutterable Name, not fall on their tukhes," God sighed. The ear came off. "Bim... this is not about you. Try to stay on topic."
  43. The Runaway Bungalow Part 12010/04/10
    The penis with the butterfly tattoo arrived in the mail that afternoon. A plain cardboard box, book rate. Inside a bubble-wrap cocoon was the plastic bottle, Sue Bee Honey. The norteamericano supermarkets displayed these in tidy rows near the peanut butter. The butterfly's wings hung limp in a golden haze of honey as though it had only just left its chrysalis and paused in the sun to dry.
  44. The Runaway Bungalow Part 22010/04/10
    San Expedito was fussing with his military kilt. "This better not be birdlime, Barney. Or so help me..." Oswaldo pretended to read, pointedly ignoring his patron saint.
  45. The Runaway Bungalow Part 32010/04/10
    "This is plastique," Patricio explained, as though lecturing a museum tour. "In it is a radio detonator controlled by my associate in our airplane. If your associates inside..." he tapped the Mercedes, "...have any transmitting equipment with them, I should caution them against using it. This is a finicky device."
  46. The Runaway Bungalow Part 42010/04/10
    Oswaldo O'Rourke y Nuñez prowled the night by the light of a moon three quarters full. He dressed in black. Many wore black—priests, hippies, country and western singers, but the blackening of the face was surely a mark of perpetration. Ozzie crouched to pray behind the big green dumpster in back of the Pick 'N' Pay—a futile prayer to a bogus saint, San Expedito.
  47. Platterland2010/04/10
    It was a real nice laying-out, tasteful. Well, maybe not so much tasteful particularly, but neat. They'd got Ed's left arm attached to his head and not his shoulder. And they had the remaining right arm attached on the left side. To look like them, I supposed.
  48. E Pluribus Human2010/04/10
    "YO, BABE!" a man's voice blared at Grenadine McKenzie, "SURPRISE, YOU'RE PREGNANT." The face digitized, fell apart, then reassembled itself. A line of empty pixels ran across a tanned chin. One eye twitched. "Gotta go. Kissy-kissy."
  49. Dead Man in the Yard2010/04/10
    There was a dead man in the yard this morning. I checked in my wallet for my latest picture of the front yard. I have a collection of yard pictures that goes back for years but I usually carry only one photo at a time. No, he was a new arrival. I called Sheila. Sheila is my ex-wife.
  50. Facelift2010/04/10
    Lord Zorgon of Alymeade sighed, a great exhalation redolent of smoldering carpets. "Where was I? Facelifts, yes. Women, whatever their ages, never wish for sensible things like orthotics or a tonsillectomy."
  51. A Special Providence2010/04/10
    "I thought there was a special providence that looked out after these things," said Gerry. A ten-dollar jackpot dropped into the takeout drawer. "There is," said a voice. "And don't whack the machine, the lottery corporation doesn't favor muscleheads abusing church property."
  52. I Want to Share Your Wheat2010/04/10
    Prosper Epilegomenes is a mouse demon in service to Sminthian Apollo. He blows up a car dealership and kills a troublesome neighbor.
  53. A Pass on the Tabouli2015/05/16
    Errol Flynn, aged 120, has been kept alive with hormones and organ transplants until 2025 for the last, final, remake of Kipling's Kim. It will be a musical.
  54. Klein, the Clone2010/04/10
    Twins play which kid's got the papers. Originally published as The Flags of All Nations Hors D'eouvre Toothpick Caper.
  55. Tomcat2010/04/10
    His great green eyes invited her to share a secret knowledge, intimating she was trusted, but not yet ready for a full revelation. Her species would have to mature.
  56. Boys Night Out2010/04/10
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  57. The Walking Lesson2015/05/11
    “The damned town looks like a trailer park,” said Simon Alexander. There was only one tree left of the elm-canopied streets of their childhood; Carpelli Construction was wrestling it down.
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