Ask Mr. Biggs! Recycling real talk radio phone calls since 2006.

The Ask Mr. Biggs Show is on hiatus for September.

Regular shows will return shortly. For more details, please visit https://www.patreon.com/MrBiggs

In the meantime, please feel free to enjoy our back catalog of fine programming. Many of these shows were top-notch. Except that one...and maybe the other one. But I'm not gonna tell you which ones. You gotta decide that for yourself. Also, since my voice has changed so much in 13 years... it will be like an entirely new show to you.

In place of a fresh show, here's an episode of Ask Mr. Biggs LIVE, streamed to an internet audience of literally dozens of people back in July. Most of you podcast feed people probably haven't heard it, so it's new to you.

Thank you for your patience.

Warmest regards,

-Mr. Biggs

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Can’t find a band willing to work for tips.
Thinks some people can wear sweaters . . . some shouldn’t.
Distrusts the word of those guys on Internet.
Can fashion a buoyancy gauge from corn syrup, an aquarium, and a Canadian nickel.
Is living in the Space Age, with the Velcro shoes and all.
Can’t eat certain types of Asian cuisine, due to intestinal distress.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Has the cleanest undercarriage he has ever had.
Says the Pressure Overload Sensor is there for cosmetic purposes only.
Has something about oil he wants to say. Later.
Loves phone calls. Well, generally. Not always. Sometimes he doesn’t care for them. They’ve been known to go poorly. Sometimes.
Saves plenty of time by typing “commercial at” rather than “at”.
Utilizes subtle facial gestures to convey the subtext of his words.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Is starring in an upcoming feature film.
Says folks on a tight budget enjoy the sensible value of variety meats.
Wonders at which point a lot of carrots becomes too many.
Turns to collaborative internet resources for researching his facts.
Says Joaquin Phoenix breaks a common stereotype regarding actors.
Won’t forget his firsthand run-in with Mark Wahlberg anytime soon.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Discourages being overly boastful.
Acknowledges the usefulness of lasers for a myriad of projects, as well as the inherit dangers.
Is concerned about the new facility’s ability to process phone calls.
Doesn’t intend to be on the wrong side of the State Gaming Board ever again.
Warns about the deceptive thermal properties of modern exhaust systems.
Encourages compliance with workplace Internet usage guidelines.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Enjoys seeing Ks stand in for Cs in commercial signage.
Feels the restless should seek out relaxing hobbies.
Thinks there should be an easier way for listeners to e-mail the show.
Is not familiar with all contemporary colloquialisms for animal waste.
Gently discourages the use of indefinite pronouns.
Utilizes mnemonic devices to recall complicated processes and phrases.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Steadfastly opposes the filing of fraudulent documents.
Is no match for automated telephone dialing features.
Appreciates brevity in electronic correspondence.
Recommends repurposing everyday items to increase their usefulness.
Feels it’s important to protect Dolly Parton’s good name.
Expresses uncertainty about his ability to recognize less common nuts.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Advocates the use of vinyl surfaces beneath office furniture.
Is adamant about using the right measuring devices to measure ovoid objects.
Encourages deliberate consumption of between-meal sweets.
Is compelled to remind listeners of talk show caller etiquette.
Interprets the subconscious messages inherent in footwear shoelace patterns.
Frowns upon overpriced haircuts.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Advises callers to gather their thoughts prior to going “on air.”
Finds endomorphic ladies appealing.
Feels that ownership of an item lies inherently in one’s ability to disassemble it.
Suggests professional help when dealing with seasonal pests.
Waives his strict “No Caps” policy for his part-time employees.
Is intimidated by compact folding blades.
*content advisory* – This episode contains salty language that you’d be embarrassed to use in front of your mother.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Shuns common workplace terms in favor of more whimsical-sounding substitutes.
Prefers age-appropriate ladyfriends.
Suggests browsing one’s analog collection prior to the digital broadcast transition.
Cautions against the feeding of feral animals.
Believes in the secure storage of firearms and ammunition.
Encourages the proper sealing of refrigerated goods.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Posits his theory regarding the properties of liquid-resistant incendiaries.
Continues to be impressed by the depth and breadth of information available from internet resources.
Dislikes person-to-porcelain contact.
Possesses instant recall for many obscure trade-specific euphemisms.
Now knows what to omit from the “special skills” section of his resume.
Reveals the versatility of specialty laundry products.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Feels strongly about matching pipe and joint sizes.
Extols the expertise of computer manufacturer-provided technical assistance workers.
Has doubts about gender authenticity in the celebrity impersonation industry.
Uses popular promotions to stimulate customer activity.
Laments the flavor degradation of slightly over-cooked coffee.
Questions the feasibility of keeping specialty beverage consumption accessories on hand.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Recommends using protective eye wear while operating power tools.
Suggests a forward approach when considering workplace relationships.
Warns against heeding ill-advised instruction from under-informed people.
Considers unconventional bit choices when tackling non-traditional DIY projects.
Uses coded language to protect the listener’s delicate sensibilities.
Bestows the value of specialty tools in emergency situations.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Questions the quality of non-name brand adhesive tapes.
Creates promotional offers to draw in celebrity clientele.
Uses thorough search terms for optimal search engine results.
Counts himself among the many who have embraced social networking trends.
Champions the visually impaired and their special sensory gifts.
Likes descriptive, no-nonsense nicknames.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

Turns delivery mishaps into popular lunchtime specials.
Combines organizational tasks with social bonding activities.
Makes insightful use of visual metaphors when explaining complex, difficult-to-grasp size and/or spatial dimensions.
Has no idea what happened to the missing Figure 8 Race tickets.
Knows all too well about the self-aggrandizing tendencies of the younger crowd.
Makes careful distinctions between different kinds of accidental fluid exudation scenarios.

In this episode, more practical advice from the Tri-County area’s most prolific advice giver. First, Mr. Biggs helps a listener sort out the difference between exotic foreign cuisine and more common local fare. Then we hear Biggs’ take on what to do when an apartment dweller is confronted with tricky DIY repairs. Have pen and paper handy for jotting down notes.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode, Mr. Biggs clarifies several misconceptions about the effects and consequences of carelessly placed electrical appliances. Later, a lesson in both clarity and brevity. Also, a longtime listener queries Mr. Biggs about a common, but often neglected, gardening issue.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode, Mr. Biggs reveals his personal approach to the nagging problem of unwanted e-mail messages from friends and family. He also takes on a complex but inevitable home plumbing issue. And he expresses his sincere appreciation for the men and women who have served in the armed forces, both past and present.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

Five short years ago, armed with little more than a lifetime of knowledge and an inquisitive mind, Cecil Bartholomew Biggs began his call-in radio show. Along with his dependable co-host, Roger, Mr. Biggs has tackled a wide variety of queries and conundrums from the Tri-County populace.

Join us as we present to you some of the most unforgettable moments from the Ask Mr. Biggs program.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode, Mr. Biggs reveals a novel approach to handling condiment distribution. He also recommends specialty tools for unique repair scenarios, and reasonable timetables for family get-togethers. He desires that everyone be treated equally…regardless of their disability. Also, he makes a shocking realization regarding social media privacy policies.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode, Mr. Biggs shares a few tips to get more life out of outdated kitchen appliances. Additionally, he advises visual inspections by qualified personnel when servicing electrical sub panels, supports the procurement of legally binding paperwork, and encourages taking personal accountability for biological cleanup on public walkways.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show.

Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."